After Chen Chen

To be a gentle
friendship breaker for S. To be

a candle-lit confetti apology for S. To be a casket
of apologies for anyone keening

by the river. To be sign language
poetry for R. To be ‘poem

of the day’ for no one in particular. To be an interest-free
loan for H Didi. To be for H Didi, somehow,

a son who returns home before 3. To be Delhi
metro for my sister, who will be

ScotRail for me. To be a fiery Edinburgh
sun spilling through her window. Sometimes, just to

be a burnt-out sun. To be online-shopping
companion for mum, who is an obsessed

grocery orderer for me. To be,
a barni full of giggles in her kitchen. To not

let her be – just the kitchen. To be, for my father,
a Hindi language computer. To be a little

less of computers. To be, for me (finally),
an early morning girly and Raat ki rani

in one body. To be Gurbani, and langar and
phulkari, all things faithful and free. To be

Punjab for Y. To be fluent in Hindi
for Y’s mother. To be for Y, alkaline coffee and

silky wonton skins. To be everything that Y
puts in her mouth – mint toothpaste, plastic seals,

Combi-flam. To be for Y, everything she wants me
to be – poet, tidy, housewife, coffee machine.

Glossary:

Barni: A ceramic jar with a lid, traditionally used for storing pickles.
Raat ki rani: Night-blooming jasmine. It literally translates to “queen of the night”.
Gurbani: A Sikh term very commonly used to refer to various compositions by the Sikh Gurus and other writers of Guru Granth Sahib, the central text of Sikhism.
Langar: The communal meal shared by Sikhs and all visitors to the gurdwara.
Phulkari: The folk embroidery of the Punjab region and Gulkari of Sindh in South Asia.

Cover Image: Photo by John Moeses Bauan on Unsplash