Asmi
What do we create for ourselves in that moment of acute awareness? Do we create empowerment, love, care, self-expression; or do we manipulate it to create abuse, distrust and disharmony? For, what is spirituality if not the uplifting of the human spirit? If sexuality is the medium for someone, what’s the problem?
My interaction with men started once I finished school and most men in my life have been decent to me, to say the least. However, there are different sides of maleness or manhood that I have come to experience.
Is there anything about my sexuality that is private anymore? What happened to the unspoken rule of not discussing one’s sexual life in the open? What happened to the sleazy jokes and the complete silence around sexuality that I remember from the previous generation?
Ellie’s writings are mostly BDSM-centric. Some set in an imaginary world, others in our world with fictitious characters, and some even in a supernatural world. However, almost as a rule, all these stories include elements of BDSM, fantasies, fetishes and even some mildly taboo subjects.
I personally feel that any cause, specially one like kink that is in its nascent stages, needs its own space to grow, to affect enough people, before it merges with the larger cause of queerness, or sexuality, or even humanity.
Will I write openly about what is or is not done, what is or is not meaningful when it comes to sexuality? Yes. Will I talk about BDSM and kink as a way of life, despite it being taboo for discussion? Yes, I will talk about BDSM and kink, and many other things as well, but I will not evangelise for them.
The point is simple. Intimacy is not about sexuality, penetrative sex, gender, BDSM or any one parameter. Yet, intimacy is about all of them AND MORE.
BDSM has been existent in discussion all the way from the time of the Marquis de Sade. However, the only thing that ’Fifty Shades of Grey’ seems to have done is shine the spotlight on a lifestyle that has existed and been judged for quite some time now.
Combine sexuality, not sex, with LGBT, Polyamory, and BDSM and there’s a vast array of non-penetrative arousal, activity and sexual frameworks.
Just like sex can be happy, sad, awkward, angry and so many other emotions, rather than the mere act of pounding, so is BDSM.
Irrespective of the gender or sexual orientation of the people involved, the only way the scales of power can be balanced in favour of everyone involved, is through explicit, well-informed consent.
If not for these memories, my exploration of sexuality would perhaps have stopped a few years ago, when I was single for a long time and didn’t know if I could find someone like me.
Home is usually the place where we begin exploring all aspects of life. In India, one area that is often…
अब मेरे लिए दोस्ती, बीडीएसएम और सेक्स के परिदृश्य को समझना, संभालना, पहले की बनिस्बत आसान तो है मगर फिर भी कहीं धुंधली लकीरें हैं।कभी-कभी पुरुष मित्रों की आँखों में थोड़ी सी ज़बरदस्ती दिखती है, उनकी साथियों की आँखों में थोड़ा सा शक, या महिला-मित्रों की आँखों में मेरी यौनिक पहचान के बारे में वही अनचाही अटकलें भी।
My formative years in BDSM[1]were heavily influenced by a series of books called Chronicles of Gor written by an author…