Consent and Sexuality
Look sharp. Consent is tricky, hiding secrets behind the empowerment toolkit and all our good intentions. Why? Because we activate this value-loaded word in a world where many, or most things, are still about the first-mover advantage. A world that holds typically narrow views of capacity, ability and success.
Consent cannot be a singular lesson plan. We need to reimagine the ways in which consent can be integrated into our curriculum content, conversations, and how we role-model it.
…when both of us speak about the way we engage in our workspaces, we find common contradictions and barriers. How does a queer person navigate these barriers, constantly negotiating when, where and on what terms to engage? To be seen or to remain unseen?
… when they believed we were of the right age to marry, they urged us to “leave everything behind and get settled”. When marriage is considered such an important institution in our society, why not teach us about consent as well?
Language can be a limiting thing when it alone is considered to be the marker of success or failure in intimate spaces. Sometimes we get stuck on what is said and fail to notice what is done in relationships. At other times, denial of a need, request, or crossing of one boundary can make us feel like the entire relationship has lost its value.