The I Column
The Learning Curve on Desire, Desirability, and Financial Access
From my experience of being at the receiving end of this snap judgment of desirability, and seeing what a loss it is of getting to know people as persons instead of cardboard images, I realise how unjust this approach is towards seeking companions (which doesn’t necessarily mean romantic partners). This is not how I would want to be seen. I have been missing out on a lot of sexual, emotional and intellectual stimulation by reducing a person’s attractiveness to these notions.
By Bhanu Priya
Self-Defined
I was a shy kid, coming into my element only at home with my sister. I didn’t like being at social gatherings; large groups of peers or family made me go back into my shell. I never thought this would change, but like everything else, it did. I was surprised to find myself becoming a very sociable young adult, creatively inclined, and the life of any party.
By Surbhi Dewan
April 18, 2017
My Boundaries, My Pleasure
I was 30 years old when memories of the sexual abuse I experienced as a child flooded my conscious thoughts. I was sitting in a session with a client – I am a mental health professional – when suddenly, a memory of playing hide-and-seek made its way out of my subconscious mind.
By Guest Writer
April 3, 2017
An Unsteadiness of Self: Marriage and Immigration in Authoritarian Times
When recently reading about the spouses of H1-B ‘skilled guest worker’ visa holders, certain themes resonate with me. These women discuss how it was not just their CVs that suffered from the forced career break – until 2015, spouses on restrictive H-4 paperwork were forbidden from pursuing employment in the U.S. – but that their core sense of self took a hit.
By Kristin Francoeur
How I Learned That I Deserve to Love Myself
Have you ever heard the old adage, “You have to love yourself before anybody else can love you”? Well, I grew up interpreting this in the absolutely most terrible way possible.
By Guest Writer
February 18, 2017
It’s Time to Take Back Our Minds!
Audre Lorde once said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
By Rituparna Borah
February 3, 2017
On Mental Health and Being a Transman
I did everything to change my gender expression from masculine to feminine. I started wearing feminine clothes, started growing my hair, and I even had a boyfriend. But the more I pushed myself to be feminine, the more depressed I became.
By Jamal Siddiqui
February 3, 2017
Romance Your Damn Self*
An experimental haircut, trying on a new pair of earrings, a bright lip colour, or even wearing a skirt when your legs aren’t waxed and walking confidently down the street: these are revolutionary acts of self-care and self-love.
By Deepa Ranganathan
February 3, 2017
How My Teen Dating at Film Festivals Turned Into Love
My first ‘date’ was at a festival screening of an understated French-Canadian film that featured a tremendous amount of chatter and Chopin. I qualify ‘date’ because, while I was certainly on the brink of tumbling head over heels, the object of my affection, let’s call her ObjA, was blithely unaware of the romantic hopes that hinged upon our meeting.
By Parvati Sharma
January 5, 2017
We Need More Sexuality Education in Nepal
There has been so much discourse about sex and sexuality education all over the world that I perhaps may not…
By Kamal Gautam
December 16, 2016
Feminist Parenting: Talking About Gender and Sexuality
“Mamma, look, that’s a boy giraffe, I can see his penis,” exclaims my four-year-old daughter in delight at her discovery as we stand watching the stately animals at the fabulous Mysore Zoo. Far from cringing at the over-loud tones of my daughter, I beam at her, “That is clever of you.”
By Shilpa Phadke
December 5, 2016
The Girl Who Dreamt an Impossible Dream
The dream soon turned into an obsession, fuelled by my kind and supportive father who would’ve done the same for me no matter what I had decided to obsess over. Before I knew it, my whole life revolved around cricket. I had a room full of posters of men who played cricket, and a brain full of cricket facts and trivia. The posters covered every inch of my room. I remember picking up new ones every other week from the street-side sellers of Connaught Place in Delhi, and found one with every new issue of The Hindu’s sports magazine called Sports Star.
By Surbhi Dewan
November 3, 2016
Learning to Be an Honest Parent
One of the very first stories my daughter wanted to be told was how she was born. It was easy for me because I had a caesarean section but I knew that at some point I had to share with her that children come out of the vagina.
By Venu Arora
October 17, 2016
How Do We Deal With All the Mixed Messages Kids are Getting?
Youngsters are bombarded every day with messages related to sexuality, sex and relationships from various sources. And we also know that not all the information they encounter prepares them well to make choices.
By Ramya Anand
October 17, 2016
Tools of Controlling Mobility
I consider my daily travel a theatre project, far from the real me: I cover myself from head to toe and wear sunglasses double the size of my face. Why? Because most of the male passengers look at all the women in the compartment as if this is something they get for free along with their ticket.
By Swapna Vasudevan Thampi
October 17, 2016