Looking down upon the earth from many miles up in the sky, the divisions between land masses and water bodies are quite stark, with the coastline clearly demarcating land from water. But when our aeroplane cruises at a lower altitude, we begin to discern water bodies within land masses, and land masses within water bodies; there are rivers and seas, and archipelagos and distinct lonely islands. The terrain of consent is a bit like that. And just like those rivers, seas and islands were shaped by complex factors, so is consent.

Shikha Aleya takes us on a fascinating tour, pointing out features in the geography of consent, features that have been in front of our noses, a bit like the rock you pass by at the end of the street, that we may not have looked at closely before. What does it mean, consent? Who gives it? Who seeks it? Is a yes really a yes? How does the decision, if it may be called that, get made?

Saurabh Suman explores similar questions about the intricacies of consent and its performance within the patriarchal framework that governs our lives to arrive at the conclusion that a woman’s yes is not an unfettered, authentic response to a “contract” proposed by men.

Continuing with the theme of patriarchy, 11th grader Aanya Narula rightly exposes how women are robbed of consent not only when it comes to sexual acts but also in their daily lives by family members who insist on their consent being sought for every little thing women may want to do. That’s a double whammy indeed. Family is where we are supposed to learn life-lessons of value. But as Bhargavi Vyas reveals, there was (and still is) a lot else going on behind the curtains while she was growing up – no open talk about sexuality and absolutely no discussion of consent despite the expectation that when one comes of age, they will be married.

Moving to the domain of workspaces, Vanshika Gupta and Niv raise hard questions of consent, inclusion, identity and belonging. What are the terms of engagement for queer people? Why do queer people have to choose to be seen or remain unseen? Will be(long)ing remain a quest without end?

Belonging, autonomy, freedom, inclusion – is this only a dream? No, says Shruti Sharma in her poem, it is what we are owed.

In Hindi, Anamika Jha reviews Krishna Sobti’s book Surajmukhi Andhere Ke a story that celebrates the protagonist’s agency and autonomy in the face of a patriarchal society that relegates her to being a victim. We also bring you two Hindi translations. The first one is of Bharti Kannan’s honest recounting of the buildup to her arranged marriage and how not saying no, does not mean yes. The second one is of Abhiti Gupta’s article about what polyamory is and what it could be, and the complex and consensual ethical and emotional negotiations it involves.

There are a lot of ideas to slowly explore, so that’s it from us for now.

Go gently.

In our March issue we continue exploring the contours of consent in relation to sexuality. In geography, contour lines mark areas of the same height above sea level, and are used in map-making to illustrate how steep or flat a land surface is. Therefore, there are very clear rules about marking contour lines: they should never split, never merge, never cross each other, etc. It’s not that simple when it comes to consent and sexuality, is it? There’s ambiguity, messiness, uncertainty of meaning, and just plain human-ness as our contributors show us yet again.

Instead of asking questions as she usually does for an interview, this time Shikha Aleya goes wandering online to figuratively sit at coffee tables and listen to the conversations about consent going on at and around them. She brings us a reverse interview on consent and sexuality that moves from the general and typical to fresh ideas and insights, and ends with some questions for us all.

Cat D creates a mosaic of desire, power and consent from seemingly stray conversations and observations with and about auto-rickshaw drivers, university campus faculty, students and support staff, delivery personnel of platforms like Amazon, Blinkit, Swiggy, etc. to expose how much we are alienated from the personhood and the desire of the ‘other’, and ultimately, our own self.

Self-alienation is sometimes the result of having to place other people’s needs above our own. As Reema Ahmad aptly puts it, “It’s like your own inner GPS loses its voice…” Reema writes with wisdom distilled from personal experience about the shades of grey in the practice of consent, be it in bringing up of a child, navigating a joint household, or communicating with a partner.

Shaifila Ladhani posits that true intimacy calls for vulnerability, the ability to be comfortable with uncertainty and ambivalence, and truly recognising and acknowledging the other as a person – it is only then that consent in its real meaning can be practised.

Heta Dwivedi takes us to the school setting where, because of the power dynamics between teacher and student, consent is assumed rather than sought. With practical tips and examples, Heta makes a case for integrating the teaching of consent in the curriculum content, classroom experience and educators’ own behaviour.

Fizza offers us a short but incisive exposé of the hidden layers beneath even the binary and limited language of Yes and No that consent is often confined to.

Aratrika Datta reviews the short film SUNO that asks whether a ‘yes’ is enough or one needs to be sensitive to other cues before assuming that the game is on.

In Hindi we bring you translations of three articles that address consent in the areas of disability, public spaces and mental health. Smruti’s article examines choice and agency as essential aspects of sexual and reproductive health and rights for women with disabilities within the scope of law, policy, and popular media. Shruti Arora’s article addresses how, owing to its colonial nature, the police targets young heterosexual couples, queer people and sex workers for harassment and extortion in public spaces. Aishwarya and Reshma’s article focuses on the importance of consent, choice and agency to expand the sense of belonging in people with mental heath conditions.

Consent. Small word, big concept, so much confusion, and yet endless possibilities of true human interaction, if only one pauses to truly note the human-ness of the other who then no longer remains an ‘other’.

Go gently.

Cover image: Eriga Borgato’s The Greats