“She rightly read the moment while I stumbled through a second-hand text.”
– Jeanette Winterson
But second-hand texts
lay out
generations of patterns and internalised mess
How else
to mitigate
effect
other than
read, analyse, process
and beware. Be
vigilant
Words
Words that compress
Hide, elide, oppress
But words
Words that can also be light
Light, bright, delight
Lightly
he wields
adjectives:
toxic, cold-hearted
describing women
What to take
Break
When to leave well-enough alone
a comment made
Context
Jest
Rest
Put down the second-hand text
Look at his face
Grace
A moment. A moment
Reading a moment
Ideology of the gut, Arundhathi
said
But does it go away
the voice
Noise
the second-guess. Mess
internalised
Am I not wired to appreciate
Face
his face
Forgive. Forgive and forget
Of course he didn’t mean it
Gingerly he walks around the
word
obvious
after I blew a fuse
refused
to appreciate
well-meant
intent
That case
In and out
In and out
I move every day
changing angles on events
Determined. Determined
not to partake
I refuse
I refuse
Shall not let the system so huge
that is always used to getting its way
Get its way
No. No. Not
without a fight. Bloody
fight if it has to be
Whose blood? Okay, okay
Pause a moment
His face
I look at you and I would rather
look at you than all the
portraits in the world
Murderously simple thing
How to keep the ideology of the gut but not
lose
the passion of the mind on the way
Love
Okay, okay but to have
the self as well?
Thanks to Jeanette Winterson, Arundhathi Subramaniam, Frank O’Hara and Marina Tsvetaeva
Cover Image: Pixabay
