hit it like rom-pom-pom-pom
(Get it hot) get it hot like Papa John
(Make a bitch) make a bitch go on and on
(It’s a fem) it’s a femininomenon

– Chappell Roan, 2023

In my book Smashing the Patriarchy, I announced that the future is female. But I’ve changed my mind since; now I think the future is femme. Here’s why. Patriarchal superstructures have been built on a solid foundation of masculine thinking. Femininity has been fetishised and forbidden. It is othered. The hypermasculine cis-heterosexual male body is the norm. Masculine female bodies, feminine male bodies, overtly femme bodies of any sex, sexually agentive bodies, trans & queer bodies, and non-binary bodies are all considered anomalies. Only the perfect, coy, submissive feminine body that the patriarchy can instrumentalise is acceptable. “But femininity, allow me to holler, can be both sensitive and fierce… [It] is a complex and prismatic phenomenon that’s constantly transforming within each one of us, irrespective of our sexual orientation or gender identity. It doesn’t always exist in isolation and melds with masculinity to form newer expressions of androgyny… Femininity is and always has been a source of transcendental power” (Rajasekaran, 2021).

I was amazed by how readers of all genders wrote to me saying that these ideas resonated with them. The subtitle of Smashing the Patriarchy reads A Guide for the 21st-century Indian Woman. But really, smashing the patriarchy is necessary for all of us – be we mxn, womxn, non^[1]. People see that truth. And the fact that mxn, womxn, and queer folks from across the spectrum are equally invested in dismantling the patriarchy has propelled me to expand my own thoughts on the subject. A learning curve, another realisation. Now, as queer icon Chappell Roan sings: “I heard that there’s a special place where boys and girls can all be queens every single day.” I hear that, and that’s the sort of world that I want, too.

But then, the sceptics might say, are you then saying that the category of “woman” is not a real category? Contemporary queer theorists have complicated the ideas of sex, gender and sexuality over decades. The acclaimed philosopher Judith Butler argues that sex is an idea, a notion that is brought into being over time, and that by acting in particular ways we “perform” gender (Butler, 2007). Like, we think we are male/men or female/women because society tells us we are so. We are only performing the role of “men” or “women” in particular ways because we are expected to do so. Sex isn’t essential to gender. So, when we think this way, it may appear that gender binaries are altogether incompatible with a queer futurity that seeks to erase all boundaries and inklings of essentialism. However, at the same time, I’m reluctant to let go of the category of “woman.”

As a queer womxn who wants to bear witness to the transhistorical subjectivities of my foremothers that have been passed down to me through time via song and story, and reimagine their sexual agency against a history of shame and invisibility (this is the theme of my PhD research, I’m looking at queer womxn’s lives from the late 19th century in the Madras Presidency) – I find that my Tamil foremothers’ stories of resilience and survival are womxn’s histories as much as they are queer. The “history of silence is central to women’s history” (Solnit, 2017) as the patriarchy has continually erased womxn’s desires and marginalised their narratives. The “female body that threatens to confuse gender boundaries” (Creed, 2007) has historically been violated, while “pathologising women who were unmarried or lesbian” (Funke, 2016) was common practice across phallocentric societies. Colonial authorities in India stigmatised a wide range of womxn “as sexual deviants, marked as aberrant, sexually unchaste, outside of respectable society, socially ill, criminally dangerous, or sexually unbound” (Mitra, 2020) when they performed gender in manners that resisted Victorian norms. The long shadow of the patriarchal past still affects womxn today and female sexuality is a highly contentious issue. It seems to me that to abandon the category of “woman” is akin to once again silencing their/our voices.

Perhaps, there is a need to challenge the universalisation of queer pasts and futures, and to establish “gender and sexuality as multiple” (Mikdashi & Puar, 2016). I want to renegotiate several categories and consider contradictions – which go “beyond, but not without, ‘women’” (Giunta, 2018). And in my post/decolonial queer feminist imagination, “expressions such as ‘trans woman’ do not simply refer to controversial instances of ‘woman,’ and being a trans woman is not a strange type of woman, but a woman, period” (Bettcher, 2013).

The patriarchy is petrified of gender fluidity. Not only does the femininomenon threaten the modes of sex-based binaries, but it also undermines sexist hierarchies. The idea that we can be as feminine as we want, or as masculine as we want, irrespective of our sex, queers everything everywhere. It unleashes our innermost desires. Questions the very idea of power. As diversity evangelist and TEDx speaker Amita Karadkhedkar once told me when I interviewed her: “We all need to reflect upon ourselves as to why we equate womanhood to weakness. Does wearing bangles take away one’s courage and strength? Does wearing red lipstick malign one’s character? Is only the privileged gender expected to be ambitious? This is for all women – trans and otherwise” (Rajasekaran, 2021).

So, when I say the future is femme, I’m talking about a world where womxn have diverse ambitions, gender identities, and sexual orientations. This is a future where everyone is free to channel the femininity within them and express themselves in a manner that reflects their true selves. Mxn can be womxn here, womxn can be mxn here, or they can be neither. We can all be queens. We can all be bitchy. Androgynous. Call out hypermasculine androcentric BS. Smash patriarchal superstructures. Love who we want. Be with who we will. Own our bodies and our minds. Speak our truths. Create a world that nurtures and cares. But also, one that fiercely protects. In a feminist feminine femme future, perhaps, we will make space for all sorts of diversity. A fabulous sorority where we’re all invested in the femininomenon.

Works Cited:

• Bettcher, T. M. (2013). Trans Women and the Meaning of “Woman”. In N. Power, R. Halwani, & A. Soble, The Philosophy of Sex – Contemporary Readings – Sixth Edition (pp. 233-250). Plymouth: Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, Inc.
• Butler, J. (2007). Bodies that matter. In M. Fraser, & M. Greco, The Body – A Reader (pp. 62-66). London & New York: Routledge.
• Creed, B. (2007). Lesbian Bodies: Tribades, Tomboys and Tarts. In M. Fraser, & M. Greco, The Body – A Reader (pp. 105-108). London & New York: Routledge.
• Funke, J. (2016). Sexuality (1880-1928). Retrieved from Routledge Historical Resources: https://www.routledgehistoricalresources.com/feminism/essays/sexuality-1880 -1928
• Giunta, K. (2018). Including and Exceeding ‘Women’: Studying Femininities in LGBTQIA+ Sydney. Retrieved from University of Newcastle: https://novaojs.newcastle.edu.au/hass/index.php/humanity/article/view/61/56
• Mikdashi, M., & Puar, J. K. (2016). Queer Theory and Permanent War. GLQ: A Journal of Lesbian and Gay Studies, 22(2), 215-222.
• Mitra, D. (2020). Indian Sex Life: Sexuality and the Colonial Origins of Modern Social Thought. New Jersey: Princeton University Press.
• Rajasekaran, S. (2021). Smashing the Patriarchy – A Guide for the 21st-century Indian Woman. New Delhi: Alpeh Book Company.
• Solnit, R. (2017, March 8). Silence and powerlessness go hand in hand – women’s voices must be heard. Retrieved from The Guardian: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/08/silence-powerlessn ess-womens-voices-rebecca-solnit

Songs Quoted:

• Femininomenon, Chappell Roan, 2023.
• Pink Pony Club, Chappell Roan, 2023.

^{[1] I use “mxn” and “womxn” instead of “men” and “women” to emphasise the complexity of gender. Someone born with male genitalia may identify as a “womxn” while someone born with female genitalia may identify as a “mxn.” There is no direct correlation between sex and gender. It’s more like a matrix of possibilities.
Female ≠ woman.
Male ≠ man.
Female/Male = Womxn
Male/Female = Mxn}

Cover Image: Photo by Ryan Booth on Unsplash